How to Avoid the Comparison Trap
You know that question, ‘Where do you see yourself in five years?’ The one that seems to be so popular in interviews and even in casual conversation.
Well, truth be told, I actually hate it.
You know why?
To me, it puts so much pressure on someone to have it all figured out… especially if they were like me five years ago, and had absolutely no idea what the future would hold.
I felt stuck so many times and looking at people who more or less “had it together” (from a social media point of view) made it worse. I graduated university with a Psychology degree, found myself spending five years working in Finance and eventually realized that I love Marketing and Communications.
But that path wasn’t so linear, in between doing my degree, working in Corporate and developing my passion for marketing, I asked A LOT of questions, mostly addressed to God.
Some of them included:
God, should I do my Masters? Would I be successful without it?
Why do I keep getting rejected for every position I apply for when I’m 100% capable?
Why does it seem like some of my colleagues have it so easy when it comes to success?
In case you’re wondering, God didn’t answer these questions right away, but rather He did it over time, through many different and somewhat difficult experiences.
Over the course of time, these experiences taught me five things that you should avoid doing and why.
“YOU KNOW THAT QUESTION, ‘WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN FIVE YEARS?’ THE ONE THAT SEEMS TO BE SO POPULAR IN INTERVIEWS AND EVEN IN CASUAL CONVERSATION.
WELL, TRUTH BE TOLD, I ACTUALLY HATE IT.”
— RENELLE G.
Stay with me, as I share with you some really powerful lessons that could not only shift your thinking, but even help deepen your understanding of how comparison can alter your faith:
Don’t envy anyone’s success. Your time will come.
Understanding that someone’s success doesn't take away from your own success or what is in store for you, changes your entire perspective.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 says "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up." When your friend or colleague gets a new job, lands a promotion or even hits a milestone, don’t think that God doesn’t care about you, but also remember what it says in Jeremiah 29:11; “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Instead of being jealous, (because let’s be real even if it’s for five minutes, it does happen), remind yourself that your time will come and God will not disappoint.
2. Don’t blame God and don’t lose your faith because your turn hasn’t come yet. He hasn’t forgotten you.
This is so crucial, because with blaming, also comes disbelief. The more we blame God and doubt him, the less we believe in Him and what He is capable of doing in our lives.
God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Numbers 23:19 affirms that God is a man of His word.
In the words of Maverick City, ‘if You said, we believe it!’
3. Don’t doubt your abilities because of rejections. We are all crafted with greatness.
It’s very common for us to downplay our skills or even lose confidence in ourselves because ‘our turn hasn’t come yet.’
If you’re familiar with Genesis 1:26-27, you will understand this point. If God has made us in His image and likeness, then how can we ever doubt that we are amazing individuals? God in Himself is amazing, so by extension, so are His creations.
It’s also extremely important to remember that we all cannot hold CEO positions or be a Vice President of Fortune 500 companies, but it doesn’t mean that we cannot have success. You don’t need a title or you don’t need to be famous to be successful. You can make an impact in so many different ways.
4. Don’t give up on the pursuit of your dreams because it didn’t go as planned. All in God’s timing.
Before God formed us, He knew us. Jeremiah 1:5 assures us that even before you started university or started your first job, God already knew it.
All the setbacks, all the failures, and even the many nights of working too late, will pay off. You may not see it in the moment, but eventually all the pieces begin to align and you understand everything in its entirety.
Sometimes there are some things we have to learn and understand before we can move on to the next stage of our lives.
5. Don’t develop a spirit of ingratitude because things didn’t go your way. Gratitude keeps the channel of God’s favour open.
I know, this sounds a bit cliché, but there are countless things to be grateful for.
On my bad days, I always try to focus on the many moments God came through for me over and over.
If there's one thing I want you to leave with after reading this, it’s that comparison is indeed the thief of joy.
Comparison causes you to forget everything you’ve ever accomplished in life, just because you didn’t do what someone else did or didn’t do it the exact way they did.
God knows the exact timing of our lives and when all the pieces will align. Take it from someone, who literally had no idea what her ‘five years would look like’ and with certainty can say that God indeed works it out.
It may not be your turn just yet, but keep the faith, God is working even while you read this.
WRITTEN BY: RENELLE G. @STONYPATHSANDSTRONGSHOES